guillotine

Bearing in mind the "censures" let through a story with thinly veinly stabs at Official-Newspaper-Chinglish, the following were cut from the "news" section for the March issue:

U.S. Amusement Park In Beijing

Universal Studios is comin’ to town, though not exactly in the form of another big-budget, blockbuster movie. CRI is reporting that the mega movie studio is planning on building a theme park with a total investment of up to ten billion RMB (about $1.5 billion given exchange rates at the time of publication, but expect that figure to be different by the time you read this) in the soon-to-be famous-er part of Tongzhou district known as ‘Liyuan Town’ just east of Beijing. Expect to see loads of brand-new entertainment facilities, hotels, restaurants and shopping centers one would expect of a fantastically ersatz virtual wonderland; it’s been earmarked as a “key project for 2009” by Beijing’s municipal government, presumably to cash in on all the tourists yet to arrive in China. Hong Kong still has Disneyland, but now at least Beijing will have a Universal Studios!

Have Diploma, Will Travel

Although it is only the beginning of the niu year, the number of registered unemployed college graduates has already hit 1.5 million, according to CRI, reporting on sources from the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences. Plans for a graduate training program have been put into place by the State Council, China’s cabinet, and should take effect in the next three years. The measures are part of a coordinated effort to battle growing social instability, though given the general temperament of recent college graduates, a better idea may have been to hand out free PSPs.

Skynet Goes Online in 2010

The General Administration of Press and Publication, China’s national media regulating body, has gone on record to publicly declare that by 2010, “[all] profit-making media and publishing entities will be decoupled from the government institution to be separate companies.” Allegedly, ISBN numbers, publication licenses and content will be subject to “less restrictions” according to a report filed by danwei.org. But why? The edict’s intent is predicated on the premise that a relaxation in governmental control over media will give way to an internationally-recognized Chinese press or media organization that will be a relevant force on the world stage. Whether or not the plan ultimately falls into the realm of reality is a matter for time to tell.

The Odd Couple

One is drowning in debt from five maxed-out credit cards and desperate to hold down just about any job to make payments on a house worth less that the total amount owned on the mortgage, ignoring the fact that this guy’s credit history should have prevented him getting the house in the first place… while the other makes as little as $700 a year (but saves $275 of it) working the fields, doesn’t really owe anything on the run-down, one-room shanty he lives in and is generally just as worse off as he was before. According to a recent op-ed run by Forbes.com these markedly different kinds of Average Joes are who the prospective and different economic bailout plans of America and China are specifically targeting, though it remains to be seen which one will end up more like the other in the coming years…