i pray no one ever calls my listed "office line" number, i have no idea where that phone is

This is what it says on the back of my company business cards:

The that's brand is supervised by the State Council Information Office of the People's Republic of China, and published by China Intercontinental Press. Zhong Dian Media Co., Ltd is in cooperation with CIP. HiPower Media Co., Ltd is the only organization with rights to run advertising for that's."

So, you know, if you were a company looking to run some ads to promote your goods and services to the expat community in Beijing, and you had hoped to utilize the readership That's is able to reach... shoot! Looks like HiPower has beaten you to the punch and has signed a monopolizing ad contract with... um, whichever one of these "organizations" actually controls That's. So sorry, only HiPower gets to run ads.

"... the only organization with rights to run advertising..." I gotta hand it to the legal gurus they must have found to draft the back of their business cards. A cunning move to force individuals into becoming businesses to fight for all the precious, precious ad space that is available. Split up all the troublemakers to make them easier to marginalize and control, right?

Update:

Thanks to my roommate for calling the "office line" number. Imagine my confusion when someone from another part of the office came to get me: "Phone. Phone."